my post-it note

Next week's going to be a good week despite having to meet a DEADline. :) I hope everything will go according to plan. Oh, he's coming back earlier than expected. That's just perfect! Have a good weekend everyone. I will update from my desk next week, as usual. :)

F-O-F-Our

So we are four today. I thought of posting our first ever picture together as an ‘item’ but then I took a second look at the picture and decided against it. It’s amazing what four years can do to you – physically and emotionally. I looked 15 and not 20 in the picture. I looked really plain and well, fresh. And more importantly, I was as thin as a stick. And so was my other half! So it’s not wise to post a before and after picture just so that people can actually note our significant ‘bodily’ changes. Yes, as our relationship grew, our waistlines grew too. Unless of course if you promise to shower me with only praises of how much better I look NOW than before, I might consider sharing the picture with you. Yer lah, you have to forgive me, I wasn’t born a ‘fashionista’ (ohok ohok) unlike some people. I am not the 'self-proclaiming' type too. :) The combination of the two would make me a very interesting person indeed. But too bad I’m not interesting. *yawn*

You're still here? Oh okay let’s continue typing since you want to continue reading. Where was I? Oh yes, the fact that we are four. How did I manage to deviate from the topic? Anywayyyy, we are four. How many times have I said that? We are four. Fab four years together, ups and downs, downs and ups and all the way around. This is the longest relationship I’ve ever had! It feels real and surreal at the same time. I’m glad we’ve made it this far. Perhaps the age factor is a huge help as we’re obviously wiser now. Decisions are sensibly made. Arguments are rationally argued. (But unnecessary arguments will sometimes make its special appearance in the relationship, so maybe I should take back the term ‘wiser’) Haha.

I’m a bit sad that he isn’t around on this special day. But of course it’s not a big issue. Because surprisingly, I’m pretty happy just relishing this day alone. Instead of bringing me down, the distance has made me more confident of what we have. I have him constantly in my thoughts and that’s enough to keep me going (for now). He’ll be back real soon and then we’ll celebrate ‘us’, in our own ‘us’ way. No worries. :)

I have a little treat for you guys. Enjoy! :) (see, Farel is already a metrosexual, he wears pink with confidence!)

the weekend,at a glance

Ok, let's write now before I'm bogged down with work.

I am starting the week with contentment. And realization. First, my thoughts and prayers go out to Zed’s family. Even though I am not a close friend, but I share the grief of the family and his loved ones. We saw him just a couple of days prior to his passing. I believe many of us are still shocked and we still find it unbelievable. He was young, he was just like one of us. What made him different? His time came. And I guess it hit us right on the face that anything can happen at anytime to anyone. All that we can do is to prepare ourselves as much as possible, and to change, for the better. I am deeply saddened by his sudden passing. It made me realize. It made me think. I want to do and say so many things all at once. Hopefully, this will teach me a lesson that I mustn’t take life for granted. Al-fatihah.

I’m glad we made it a point to meet up on Saturday, Mims. Despite the clash of schedules and everything, it was all worth it in the end (because you gave me presents from Ireland!hehe). Thank you for your time and for accompanying me to jadi one mak datin-first-time-beli groceries. And thank you to my mom for having breakfast with me, I had the best scrambled eggs ever! On Sunday, I went to Kartini’s (Hot fm DJ) wedding. It was simple yet so so so beautiful. I love weddings. Period.

Ohh, yeah, I did start off my entry with the word ‘contentment’ right? Well, one of the reasons that I’m contented is that I am now no longer a CCF-exclusive chef. I now have a CCF-equivalent. No, it’s not another kind of dessert. It’s a chicken-broccoli-lasagne/pasta/I don’t know what to call it!My recipe is always like that. It’s always neither this nor that. But it’s okay. That’s why it’s special. I am so proud of myself. I know, sue me for being over-excited over something that is so “oh-my-god-yawn-I-can-do-that-with-my-eyes-closed”. It’s okay. I didn’t ask for your money to buy the expensive ingredients anyway! Hmm, I need a name for it. I think I should just call it chicken occoli pasta or COP. It’s delishhhh and it looked really appetizing too (surprisingly...)

Andddd...please give a round of applause and a warm welcome to....

Muhammad Farel!! (ps:spelling of the name is not confirmed) Yes, Meq delivered the huge baby early Sunday morning, the conventional way ie normal! Farel is approximately 4.1kg ok! But I’m so happy and relieved that both mummy and baby are healthy. I saw the baby but I didn’t hold him, much to my disappointment, as he was still under observation at that time. I stood outside the window for the longest time ever just staring at his round, chubby cheeks and thick black hair. I even heard him cry and my god, good luck lah Meq, he can really scream! Hehe. Now that the wait is over, the toughest part begins. :) Now I have Nia and Farel to play with. Three more babies coming up in March! Phewww...

start your day with a smile?

How to get my attention?

Shout at the top of your lungs. No response.

Shout louder than the top of your lungs. No response.

Shout until everyone stop dead in their tracks and cars slow down. No response.

Whistle, using the real, actual referee-type whistle. No response.

And like probably five minutes after that, I might just consider the fact that you could have been trying to get my attention. And so I’ll turn. And that’s when I’ll realize. After seeing your red face. I’ll say, “Oh?”

(Padan muka anyway. You should’ve just walked or caught up with me because I wasn’t very far from you! And since when do we have to park at a designated spot since we don’t have designated parking anyway? Isn’t it up to me whether I want to park at the next available slot or maybe two slots down or wherever, according to my preference and convenience? I want to see you try to control the traffic at 8.30. See if you can stop them from parking anywhere they like.((I can't believe he actually whistled!!pffft)))

This is not good. *breathe in, breathe out* No anger please. It's Friday happy-day. I have a few things to do this weekend. It's going to be fun! Yes, yes *breathe in, breathe out*

baby love

On the way back from lunch, we saw a very, very cute baby about a year old or so, sitting by her nursery’s window. I bet she just woke up from her afternoon nap and was sitting upright with a dazed look on her face. She did not respond when we waved at her. It must’ve been weird for her to see a few adults standing by her window and waving at her from outside. Why are babies getting cuter by the minute? So geram. I know quite a number of people (at least 4 yang rapat and a handful of other friends) who will be giving birth this year, so this year's going to be filled with lots of babies! I can't wait. I'm so going to be busy making my rounds, visiting all the cuties. :)

ps: By the way, that’s not the baby girl. That’s Fay, my sister in law’s niece. She’s wayyyyyy too adorable to be true.

here comes the bride, all dressed in fury

Speaking of weddings (since that’s what everyone’s talking about these days), I would just like to share my experience. Not my own personal experience of course but my experience in helping my mom organize my brother’s wedding. It was a lot of work.!! There were just so many things to do and things to settle. In the end, it became quite draining, especially on her. And that was only our preparations on the guy’s side. Imagine what it must have been like on her side. Yes, it was not easy and she put in a lot of effort to make it special in its own way. I’m sure everyone would do or have done the same for their children’s weddings. Everyone’s degree of effort may vary but still. Some heart and soul and love and of course, money are put in weddings. No matter how big, no matter how small, no matter how grand, no matter how simple.

So it would not only be plain rude but also inconsiderate for a stranger, or anybody for that matter, to overly-criticize or mock a wedding like as if it’s a circus. Constructive criticism is a different thing all together. What is constructive criticism? Well, for me it would be like, informing us that the music was too loud or there were not enough flowers on the high table or the food was stale or things like that. But what happened was, some people thought it was within their prerogative to touch on personal issues or personal choices that were made during the wedding. Example? Well, mocking the fact that we threw rose petals and bunga rampai as the bride and groom walked out of the hall, mocking the fact that we gave our bottled water as one of the wedding favours, mocking the fact that the hotel provided the guests with chocolates as also one of the wedding favours, mocking my father’s speech, mocking the fact that I had a huge rose in my hair, mocking my sister in-law’s singing, mocking what we gave for the hantaran, mocking this and that. Even typing all the examples above is tiring. So it’s incredible, really, for anyone to have that much strength to go out of the way to mock another person, complete with all the items at hand. Pathetic and funny. Haha. Those were personal choices and who’s to say whatever ideas you have in mind would be better?

And here I thought we are all moving towards being citizens with first-class mentalities. It seems like this concrete jungle that we live in is only a façade. Many of us are still pretty much kampung girls and boys at heart. Even those who live in the kampung don’t do this anymore. You know, the typical “anak Kak Kiah gigi emas tu kahwin tapi korbankan seekor lembu je, ada ke patut? Anak imam tu nak berlagak la tu, tunjuk kaya bagi bunga straw untuk bunga telur, apa, dah taknak ikut adat Melayu ke?” (as seen in Malay dramas) Come onnnnnn. Get over it.

Honestly, it is up to that person whatever colour he/she wants to wear (if you want a colour that no one has worn before, well, you have to create a new colour!). It is up to that person if he/she wants to have thick make-up, light make-up, natural make-up, Opera make-up. Just let them be. As long as the families are happy, then so be it. It’s funny how some people fail to realize that when they mock the whole wedding, it’s like mocking the parents – because the parents are usually the ones who would organize or pay for the wedding. And I can take criticism if it is directed to me but I will never, ever allow a stranger to mock my parents, my family and get away with it. If you think what we did was an ‘over display of wealth’, well, I think your attitude is an over display of how childish and immature you are, whoever you may be. I will not stoop as low as your level to start making personal attacks even though I can. Because I’m not you. And because I was brought up to respect others – even though I don’t think I have much left for you. Hmm, I have one less person to invite to my wedding now. Hehe.

So that’s just a story of how something as beautiful and as pure as a wedding could turn into something that puts everyone under pressure, something that could not only hurt the bride and groom but the entire family, something that could turn friends into foes, something that could reveal one’s true colours, something that could turn not into a much anticipated event but an event that everyone dreads. And what a sad, sad world we live in if everyone is like her/him.

All weddings are one-of-a-kind. And you don’t even have to look at the colour of her dress or the value of her wedding favour or who did what first. Just look at the bride and groom. It’s all up to you. It’s you that will make the difference and not what you have.

not the glossy kind

We had our birthday celebration yesterday. Yeap, three of us were born in February so it has always been a lavish affair when it comes to the February babies’ birthday celebration. And also, thanks to the rest who keep on celebrating the Februarians without fail every year! I love, love, love this year’s birthday present. I received an envelope cluth and two notebooks! Two items mentioned in my wish list. I am blessed with super generous friends. (I am still waiting for my E71 though).

So, after lunch, (by the way I had Penang prawn mee, I love Penang prawn mee to death, it’s my second favourite food in the world after rice) we headed to Red Box to menunjukkan bakat terpendam. Ehem. As usual, I had fun! All of my favourite things and people combined together; of course it was nothing less than perfect. Allow me to reiterate myself when I say I cannot sing but I love karaoke sessions. I love all the dancing and shouting and screaming and out-of-tuning that we did yesterday. I’m sure going to miss all of it ‘til our next ‘gathering’. We have to do it again! Ok, next time maybe we can take a break from singing. Let’s go play paintball or bowling or something. I brought my camera along but since Hanisa has a really nice camera which can capture really nice pictures, so I’m sure she captured a lot of embarrassing moments and I’ll share it with you because I’m SO going to steal the pictures from her. *edited:dah curi.*

I had a great time. Honestly. This is one of the sets of friends that I have that I totally love and can’t live without. We’ve always put our friendship above our differences. And that’s why what we have is so uniquely beautiful. You may say what you want about any of them but who they are in your eyes, may not be who they are to me. Different backgrounds, different personalities and different attitudes work perfectly for us. Just blend us all together and you’ll get one thing – a non-superficial friendship. Thanks again for everything and especially for the wonderful, super cool clutch. :)

More pictures later. But I just HAVE to put these pictures up first because of its chronology. Seriously, it was unintentional and I didn't even realize it until now.

N:I'm not going to let this box of cupcakes out of my sight.

N:Ok, let's pose for a picture. (But I still want the box near me)

N:Girls please don't touch this box.It's mine.

N:Yeayyyy finally I get to see what's inside.

N:Ummmm, yummy-looking. I wanna get closer to the cupcakes.*smells*

N(kira dalam hati):Hmm, ada 7 orang, ada 25 cupcakes. One person dapat how many?3?Not enough! I think I want to steal Din's share.Yes, if I do it now, he will never know.

N:First two vertical lines from the left are mine.

*Note the remote control on the lap. Gila taknak lepas, even while taking pictures.Peace everyone. Sorry for stealing your cupcakes. I'm hiding one in my mouth now. No wonder it's so round. :)

Everyone - before they found out one of my many hidden talents.

25 random things about me you're dying to know

Is it even possible to come up with only 25 random things about me? I’ve been tagged a few times in FB but I’m doing it here. Just because.

1. The most random thing about me is that I’m totally random. My feelings are random, my thoughts are random. I always say this only because it’s totally true – I feel a million different things everyday. Sangat perasa. (very full of feelings, haha)

2. A little too crazy about handbags. If only there’s a handbag-lovers-anonymous club that I could join to share my addiction. No, you don’t get it. When I say crazy, I mean it. To the point of lusting over and yearning for a fictional handbag mentioned in books!

3. Loves to sing and dance alone in my room – complete with a hairbrush or marker (if I’m desperate) as a microphone.

4. Contrary to popular belief, in my everyday life, I am not serious or ‘fierce’. Once you (really) got to know me, you’ll know that I have a different side ready to be unleashed. Haha.

5. I can’t stand people who are physically slow when it comes to work. Like for example she/he takes a minute to lift a pen and another minute to take off the cap and another to find a piece of paper or a minute just to type one simple sentence. Time waits for no man, ok! If you’re strolling in a park or something I really don’t care but when it comes to serious-stuff, you have to act like you know what you’re doing.

6. Easily annoyed. Isn’t it obvious? But it’s a bad habit I’m trying to get rid of.

7. I’ve had the same set of girlfriends since forever. In fact, I can’t even remember my life before them. And I intend to keep it that way.

8. I had difficulties going to school when I was in Std 1. I used to cry everyday and forced my grandparents to wait for me in the school canteen during recess. While others run and play with friends, I hung out with them instead. It was always such a relief to see their faces waiting for me in the canteen. Indescribable.

9. I wasn’t the smartest kid in school (especially in Std 1) and I was just so afraid of almost all the teachers. Especially the ustazah. So I made my mom talk to the ustazah to not force me to recite a surah that I can’t memorize. I’m persistent like that. Heh.

10. Loyal. In all aspects. Family, friends, lover, cosmetic products, beauty products, favourite restaurants, favourite food, favourite dish, favourite table, TV channels etc. I don’t have a change of heart easily. So I’m the kind of friend or lover you’d want to have in your life. :)

11. Not friendly and reserved, only if you don’t know me. I guess I only open up to people once I feel comfortable. Ohhh, but it’s not that difficult to make me comfortable! People have done it before.

12. When I was MUCH younger, I was adamant to go to New York after watching Home Alone 2. So my brother said ok, let’s go to USA. I said no, I want to go to New York!! You can figure out that I’m not much of a geography fan. All I know is the state capital of Kedah.

13. I hate plane food. Used to be nauseous after eating the food served, especially when it’s a long-distance flight. I came up with a solution – drink lots of Coke, munch on candies or chocolates and no other solid food until I reach my destination.

14. Sometimes I get scared of my own hair. I’d see something black and dark from the corner of my eye or I’d think that there’s an insect or something brushing against my back when it’s actually my own hair. Freak lah.

15. I’m not a fan of cats or any pet, for that matter. It’s not that I hate cats, I find them cute and lovable but I just can’t find the strength in me to overcome my fear. We used to have a beautiful, fat Persian cat at home but I was still scared to the max. I lived in a constant state of fear (plus that cat suka buat serangan hendap)

16. Believe it or not, I have never been to Sabah and Sarawak. Would love to go there one day.

17. I can’t swim but I plan to start swimming lessons soon.

18. Can’t really pretend. Not to say that I’m not pretentious at all, because we are all a little pretentious sometimes, but most of the time, I am not pretentious as I can’t pretend to like somebody if I don’t. It will show all over my face and I am not the sweet, sugary kind. I refuse to make any effort to conceal my feelings. So if I’m okay with you, it means I’m okay with you. And if I’m not, well, you’ll definitely know!

19. I don’t forgive and forget. If you hurt me, I’ll remember forever and it’s not easy for me act like you’ve never done anything wrong. It’s not something I’m proud of but it’s so difficult to be the better person sometimes.

20. When I was in Std 6, Vincci was so new, so cool and so in, I had to pretend I have a pair of Vincci’s. And when my friend insisted that I take off the shoes to see the label, I made a thousand excuses not to do so. Why must we lie and try to fit in? Why can’t we be ourselves and say this is not Vincci, this is Bata, so what?

21. My first unofficial car was a maroon Satria and then I got my own car, a gold Kelisa, and then my best friend bought the car just so that we could keep the plate number in the family (8285), and then it was a Perdana V6, followed by a red Honda Jazz (my favourite!the first day I got the car, I drove to Shah Alam to meet up with my boyfriend for the first time!) and now an orange Suzuki SX4 (which I don’t drive to the office because of its size). I love cars and I used to love going to car expos. :)

22. Very secretive. And that means I can keep secrets pretty well too. You can count on me. In fact, I will usually forget a secret after a while so there’s no risk of me telling others about it. Lol.

23. Love to plan things ahead. Not very good with anything last minute. Or else I’ll panic at the disco and everywhere – that’s me. If everything’s planned ahead then I’ll be calm and composed. :)

24. A hopeless romantic. I go all out for my relationship. A master of surprises kan? Sadly, it is not reciprocated as he is not the romantic kind. Hah. Just admit it!

25. I hold on to my traditional values. I may be a city girl but there are certain things I just wouldn’t do. It’s always step 1, step 2, step 3 and so on for me. Everything must go by the book.

it's my party and I can cry if I want to

(Good morning! I wanted to post all the entries below on the respective dates but blogger wasn't kind to me so I saved it all in drafts and nah, take it all! A bit too much for you to read all at once. Hehe.)

Well, it was my ‘party’ but I didn’t cry because I didn’t want to. I had such a nice low-key birthday celebration this year, doing ordinary things that always seemed extraordinary when it’s him I’m doing it with. It was such a coincidence that all my friends were away due to the long weekend. So we had time all to ourselves. It was all about us and what we wanted to do. Like eating chocolate-dipped marshmallows while seating on a wooden bench so thin you’d have to really balance your body or else you’d fall into the fish pond, shopping like we’ve never shopped before, talking as if we’re on auto-pilot not knowing when or where to stop so that we won’t waste a single minute together and sometimes, we’d be as still and as quiet as the night sky but all the while still maintaining the big goofy grins on our faces. Excited lah okay! And I love, love, love my birthday present. Thank you for the wonderful time. :) We’ll be stronger this time around. It can only get better.

So it was my 24th birthday! I’m old! You see, I’ve never had issues with my age or my weight. But now, I don’t know what has gotten into me. I almost cried the other night because I can’t get the big two four part out of my head. Technically, it doesn’t make much difference because I am still me and all that ‘age is nothing but a number’ talk has always been true. But somehow, this year it felt different. Like as though the number might actually be significant in my life. Or should be significant, at least. I don’t know what or where or how but I just feel older, this year, than what I felt on my birthday last year. Of course the fact is that I AM older because you see, idiot, that’s what birthdays are for. To mark another additional year in someone’s life. I’m not making any sense and it’s just impossible to explain but I just feel older this year. There, let’s leave it at that. You don’t have to try to figure it out unless you don’t have anything better to do and in that case, please inform me of your findings, thank you.

But anyway, thanks to everyone who rubbed salt on my wound and reminded me how old I am. Just kidding. Hehe. I thank you for your sincere wishes. And thanks for saying the nicest things and wishing me the best of everything, I love every single thought that came with it.

ps: I was hoping Meq would deliver on my birthday but it didn’t happen. That would’ve been the best birthday present ever. Cehh, over je. And that means no birthday celebration with her because she’s ready to pop any minute now! Nervous!

the day...

Friday, 6 February 2009

...we (in)voluntarily turned 5 again.

Oops, I ripped the ribbon on her shoes. This is evidence of how much I was focusing on the showmanship. Semangat!

To be fair, we were all very sporting. At the end of the day, I think that is the most important part. We had fun rehearsing and bonded with each other but the performance per se was mediocre. And also, slightly embarrassing. Ok, what we had to was – perform at our division’s farewell function. We had two days to come up with something – and that was what we came up with. A choir-ish performance with very minimal choreography. Basically we just went up there to sing. We sang two very ambitious songs; Casey’s Seribu Impian and Flying Without Wings. Konon nak have that emotional effect with the second song. But people ended up laughing. At that point in time, it was the most embarrassing moment ever. But after the ‘performance’, we were all laughing so hard at how silly we looked on stage. With some of us being extra energetic until there was no more space to move on stage and one of us even ripped her colleague’s shoe in her quest to be a true performer *coughs*. It was fun in an embarrassing way. I don’t think I’d be able to look at those faces again next week. I need to regain my confidence. Sheesh, I can’t believe people didn’t take our performance seriously. We were expecting tears! Not laughter. Ok so maybe they had the right to laugh because of some of our very Standard 1-ish hand gestures...but still, where’s the A for effort? Or was it E for effort?

I hope nobody recorded it. Sheesh. Needless to say, I like the people because we usually have so much fun as a team. That’s the only bright side to it – the people. It's a little something for us to remember forever but hopefully, not something the bosses would ever remember.

CCF love?

Thursday, 5 February 2009

Great, I have cookie crumbs and gooey chocolate on my shirt. I have just finished making his, (I would assume and it better be true), favourite recipe. Cookie chocolate fudge (CCF)! Or in layman’s terms, it is a modified version of the traditional kek batik. But it doesn’t feel or taste like the usual, although it may look like one. That’s why I gave it a new name, not because I want it to sound glamorous like as if I can cook or bake anything fancy. It’s a lottttt more gooey, sticky, chewy, not too sweet, chilled and in short, perfect! So it’s definitely not the usual ‘full-of-cookies-but-no-chocolate’ cake. Anywaysss, he’s my only fan. I don’t know whether I should be flattered or hurt. Whenever I start arranging the ingredients on the kitchen table, my family members would say, “Again?” But because he’s coming back, I decided to make one today. And also because the last time I made it was when he left. That was my bekal for him. I hope it does come across as something symbolic... and not just an obvious sign that I am SO NOT creative or innovative.

I have mixed feelings whenever I hand it to him. My main intention is for him to enjoy what he loves but then of course he will have to bring it home and store it in his fridge and of course his family members would know. And then comes the embarrassing part where in my wildest imagination, his family would laugh and tease me for keep making the same thing over and over again as a gift for him and what they’re all trying to say is that can’t I do something else for a change, please? That is of course, only in my nightmare. But I wouldn’t blame them if they were to laugh at me because even my family thinks I should move on from my CCF phase. There are no attempts to conceal the fact that they want me to cook or bake or make something else as they’re getting really sick of it – and that’s coming from my family. Aren’t they supposed to love me or something? Hmm, ok ok I’ll move on. But for today, let me bask in the glory of my post-CCF-making session. More importantly, I made it for the person I love and his happiness that comes with every bite of my CCF is worth all the criticisms, hate-mails, sabotages, mogok and what-nots.

Oh wait! How can I forget? I have another CCF fan – my cousin. She tasted it once and then she actually requested me to make one for her! That was last year. I remember feeling all proud and smug and I thought “Hmph, eat your heart out, family a.k.a critics!” But it was only for that one occasion. Ever since then, I have not received any other orders from her. I wondered why she was no longer amazed at the great CCF, even when she came to my house and there were some left in the fridge. And then I found out that my 10 year-old cousin figured out the recipe and started making her own CCF. So much for wanting to be different and unique. Is it that easy to make??? No it’s not, it’s still special! It’s not my fault that kids nowadays are growing up too fast. (Eh, hello Mr.Denial, long time no see, please have a sit let’s have tea). Well, I guess, that tells you a lot about me. :)