first fall

Maya had her first fall during the Hari Raya Aidil Adha break. We were at my aunt’s place in PJ and we let her crawl and play with her cousins. She’s in this phase where she likes to ‘climb’ on things..sofa, table, chair, legs… So she was standing while holding on to her daddy’s leg when she suddenly lost her balance and fell sideways to the floor – on the cold, hard tiles. :( She cried for about a minute and then she was back to her normal self. There was a really deep red mark on her right cheek and we quickly dabbed cloth-covered ice cubes on her. She resisted so much that I think we barely got the ice on her skin. But anyway, all is well now and the redness faded the next day.

So there you go, baby. Your very first fall at 9 months. Thought you might want to know this when you're older. :) I know there will be lots more to come and the parents must learn to relax a little and not panic too much. But still, I hope you’ll stay safe dear baby. Try not to fall too much ok? Love you.

Maya at nine

My darling baby girl is nine months old now. To think that nine months ago, and nine months before that, I was never happier to be peeing on a stick just to see again and again, those two beautiful lines.

I could never boast about my daughter enough and I think every parent is guilty of that. It’s only normal. And it’s good that you’re always going to be their cheerleader. There’s nothing more pleasant to a baby’s ears than words of encouragement and praises! (But I overdo it ALL THE TIME. ;p)

Anyway, here are some of the things that Maya has done recently:

- She can pull herself up in a standing position effortlessly and she will hold on to whatever there is to keep her from falling.

- At times, she would let go of her hands and stand for a glorious 3 seconds before she tumbles down. (In Mummy’s eyes, it deserves to be put in the ‘Genius’ World Book of Records)

- Understands simple instructions. If we spot her slowly putting something forbidden in her mouth we would say “Maya no no no”. She would stop, look at our faces and either babble something in protest or proceed with putting the thing in her mouth. In the latter case,I would like to believe that she understands the order but decides to defy it anyway.

- Recognizes her favourite people and things ie; Dora the Explorer, Minnie Mouse, pacifier, milky, Mummy, Daddy.

For example, if she’s busy playing with all her toys around her and I ask her “Maya where’s your paci? (re:pacifier) Take your paci” and she will stop whatever she’s doing and look around for her paci. (I will purposely put the paci out of her sight so that she needs to search for it). And when she has found her pacifier she will pick it up and put it in her mouth. Watching her twisting and turning the pacifier around just to find the teat before putting it in her mouth is the CUTEST THING EVER. Or when I ask her “Maya go and kiss Dora…where’s Dora? Kiss Dora” She will go find her Dora teddy and kiss it. Maya’s definition of kissing is putting Dora’s nose in her mouth and biting it. Same goes to her Minnie Mouse. As for Mummy and Daddy, she understands when we say “Go to Daddy/Mummy” or what I always love to say is “Pok Daddy” which means go and hit Daddy. She will oblige by patting her Daddy on his back.

- She can clap upon request or when she hears the “If you’re happy and you know it” song.

- She can wave goodbye upon request.

- Starting to be able to tease us with a round of peek-a-boo. She would stay hidden (where I can’t see her face) and then slowly peep by slanting her body to see me and when I notice her she’d laugh and repeat repeat repeat.

- She eats really well, Alhamdulilah. She may not be chubby but she gets all the food that she needs and still drinks her milk. Just recently, I’ve started giving her fish. But I’m going to introduce it on and off for the first couple of weeks. And then I’m going to try chicken.

- Still no teeth. All round gummy smile.

I must always bear in mind that babies develop and grow at their own paces. Although there are guidelines and the general development chart, but it is okay if your baby misses a point or two because one baby may be advanced in one area but slightly behind in other areas. Every baby will take his or her own sweet time to reach their milestones but eventually, they will achieve it. It’s just a matter of time. As long as the baby is healthy and happy, I think everything else will fall into place. I know, because I used to be concerned and anxious too, as to why Maya couldn’t sit. I kept asking people have your baby started sitting? When can she sit? Will she ever learn how to sit? Do I need to teach her how? How can I help her? And then one day out of the blue, Maya just sat on her own, unsupported. Just like that. It’s amazing how babies develop so from then on, I’ve learned to just let go and go with the flow. I wasn’t even thinking about when Maya will stand on her own two feet but she suddenly just did. So it was a nice surprise. :)

Talking about nice surprises, my husband surprised me a watch last night. I’ve been wanting a new watch for quite some time and I was of course, over the moon with the gift! Plus it was exactly the type of watch that I’ve been eyeing on. The design is something fun and something playful, because I already have a very serious older-woman watch.

That’s the watch I got last night.

We’re not the “shower each other with gifts” kind of couple and I’m not the kind of wife who expects to be showered with gifts, flowers and the likes of it but every once in a while, it is nice to get a little present. Especially unexpected ones. Totally sweet. I love the watch and I love YOU more (not because of the watch but I really just do. Really. I mean it. OK. The watch helped a bit but I do love you!) Thanks for everything.

don't count the hours,make the hours count

I have been going home late from work for the past two days. (And yeah it deserves to be made a headline! ;p) That's not the point. The point is, I've had two days of very short minutes with Maya. As expected, I came home to see her sleeping soundly in her cot. I did not sign up for motherhood just to give a little goodnight peck to my baby. So I was very disappointed, and yet I know that it is not something that I can avoid (being busy at work, I mean). Still, I am very grateful that being at this place where I am now, things are very much bearable.

Of course I'm going to take every opportunity I could to rush home to my baby. May today be the first day of the week that I get to have at least two full hours of playtime with her.

Maya at Eight

Just a quick one! I would like to record Maya's milestone here. So these are among her latest development:

• Shortly before she turned 8 months, she started crawling and sitting unsupported.


• At 8 months too, she has started climbing sofas and chairs. She would then try to stand up without holding on to anything.


• Developed an appetite, Alhamdulilah. I started giving her solids at 6 months but she didn't seem to like it that much...she ate about 5 spoons at the most per meal time .But now she eats twice a day (habis)and I might increase it to three times a day soon.


• No gigi yet...so no meat in her porridge for now...Stick to pumpkin porridge k?


• Non-stop baby talk. Mamamama, mimimimi, tatatata


• She can wave goodbye (on a very very good day) LOL ;p


• She can clap her hands


• She knows how to kiss. But you have to kiss something else first, like if she sees me kissing her Dora the Explorer doll, she'd kiss me too.


• Loveeees anything tickle-related. Whether it is her that we're tickling, or each other, she'd get super excited and join in the fun.


• Would wake me up gently for milk in the wee hours. She wouldn't cry or anything, she'd just tap my face or tummy and wait for me to open my eyes. And then she'd smile. Standard operating procedure every morning.


• Enjoys both her music class and play class. But we personally think she prefers the music class.

I love her so much I can spend the rest of my life talking about her. 'Til the next update! :)

pixxies

Ok, these pics were taken before I got my new canggih camera okayyy... ;p

Raya oh Yeah

Ok so have you all recovered from your Raya fever? I definitely haven’t because well, the month of Syawal has justttt ended! I definitely love the whole “beraya sebulan” spirit that we still practice in Malaysia. Raya is meant to be a day, oops sorry, a month of joy, happiness and laughter after all! And the open house culture that we have is fantastic! What better way to celebrate the joyous occasion if not with an array of good fattening food and good company?

I had a wonderful Hari Raya, thanks for asking. Of course, Maya made all the difference. It is definitely so much more magical having her around and I wonder how did I ever live without her? If I knew how much love you would bring into my life, I would’ve had you wayyy earlier. Hehe. You’re such an angel, an absolute delight to be with! And I’m sure, dear Maya, you enjoyed your first Hari Raya thoroughly. This year it was Daddy’s turn so on the eve and morning of Syawal, we were at Tok Mi’s and Tok Ayah’s house in KL. We were dressed in emerald green. I sure can’t describe the plain happiness and contentment that I felt on that morning. And Maya, mummy was excited too and can’t wait to bring you around for beraya.

After that, we went back to your Wan’s and Nani’s house in Shah Alam. There, you met your two wacky cousins, Abang Dani and Abang Dayyan. For the rest of the day, we just hung out at home and entertained relatives and guests. Later at night we went over to my uncle’s place for dinner. The next day, pergi beraya lagi…and on the third day, we threw a small open house for family members only.

I had so much fun the whole week. It has been a while since I last had the opportunity to spend that much time with Maya. And she definitely had a wonderful time, laughing and giggling and getting to know lots of new faces. Even though you don’t know the meaning of ‘money’, Maya, but you do know how to get excited at the sight of sampul duit raya. During raya anyone who handed out the packet to you, you took it and held on to it taknak lepas. Good job, hehe. :)

So anyway, peeps, that was basically how our raya went. May all the love, joy and happiness shared during the month will continue to be with us for the rest of our lives!

Salam Aidilfitri!

Roughly 4 days left before we celebrate Aidilfitri. Insya Allah, this year’s Hari Raya will be an exciting one with the little princess around. It’s her first and I will try to make it special for her, and memorable for us parents. Yes, by Hari Raya she’s only going to be about 7 months old so she won’t remember her first Hari Raya that much but there’s always pictures as evidence! Personally, it’s nice to have something new to look forward to during Hari Raya – preparations for her, bringing her around for beraya and teaching and exposing her to all things Raya; like Raya songs, bunga api, duit raya etc. For the last couple of years it has been a rather simple affair, now it’s time to go sakan again. :)

Last year I didn’t really splurge on new baju raya so this year I tailor-made a few. But the clothes are all really plain and simple, just so that I can match my baby girl’s baju. Yuppp, me and my husband are not the matchy-matchy sedondon kind but with Maya, I want to be matchy-matchy all the time! I’m not just talking about raya. When we go out, I like to either match 100% with Maya or at least be colour-coordinated or complementary to each other’s clothes. So yeah we do have a few similar outfits. I can’t wait ‘til she’s slightly older, then I can buy yang betul-betul mother-daughter combo. I’m turning into such a suffocating mom kan? Hehe.

What else? Other than her clothes, the usual Hari Raya preparation tu ada la. I bought kuih raya for my mom’s house and my MIL’s. I have prepared some duit raya. Bought my husband’s baju melayu off the rack and went to buy his butang baju. I don’t know if I still have time to search for my kasut raya and handbag raya though...Hmmm… We have only one more weekend left before Raya! Oh well, maybe I’ll just wear whatever I have.

This year, it is my husband’s turn. So malam and pagi Raya will be at his house in KL before we go back to Shah Alam. Yeah, jauh lah sangat kan? Hehe. Thank God we’re both from around here, and not statesss apart. Or else I will cry a river on pagi Raya just thinking about my family di ‘perantauan’. :)

Anyway, wherever I may be, and wherever you may decide to spend your Raya, hopefully it is filled with laughter, joy, warmth and love all around. It is a once-in-a-year celebration so make full use of it and embrace it wholeheartedly! Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri and Maaf Zahir Batin from us. I’ll end this post with a picture of these two little girls in their ‘sepasang kurung biru’. ;p

(Taken during a recent majlis berbuka puasa...)

a working mom's dilemma

Are you a working mom? Then you must be able to relate to the fear, anxiety, worries listed below. (And these are only a fraction of it…)

1. Have you ever felt inadequate?
2. Have you ever feared that your child might choose the caretaker over you?
3. Have you ever feared that your child will love you less?
4. Have you ever wondered whether the little time that you get to spend with your child (after office) is enough?
5. Have you ever thought that with such little time at hand on weekdays, would you be able to mold your child to become the person that you want your child to be?
6. Have you ever questioned your decision to continue working?
7. Have you ever been afraid of not witnessing her first step, hearing her first word?
8. Have you ever worried that your child will forget your face, your voice, your smell?
9. Have you ever felt pity towards your child for not having his/her mom around all the time as compared to some other children?
10. Have you ever felt guilty?
11. Have you ever cursed stay-at-home moms who complain about having to take care of their children?
12. Have you ever thought of ways to let your child know that he or she is loved even without your presence?
13. Have you ever justified to yourself that you are doing it (working) for the betterment of the family?
14. Have you ever missed your child so much at work you want to cry?

15. Ultimately, have you ever felt like you have not been a good mother?

Essentially, every mother wants to give her best to her children.

What if my best is not good enough because of this thing that I have called ‘career’? Ideally, one should look at it as a blessing – that it is great that one is employed, it is great that one is contributing to the household income etc. But unless one is an angel or a saint, one will not look at it that way most of the time. Most of the time, we feel like apologizing to our children. Or at least I do.

Sorry mummy’s got to go to work today. Sorry mummy’s coming home late. Sorry mummy’s got to do office work at home.

If we don’t apologize, what do we say?

Yeay, mummy’s going to work today so that means more money to buy toys for you! Yeay, mummy will be late so you can sleep with the Bibik. Yeay, mummy needs to do office work in the room so you go and play on your own?

It’s not in our nature to say things like that because we don’t feel that way. We don’t look at things that way. Mothers are very emotional people, in case you haven’t heard.

We’re always in a huge dilemma and we will continue being in this dilemma…until God knows when. The emotional and spiritual turmoil that one goes through is an endless cycle.

May Allah know every working mother’s good intentions and give His blessings. And may He guide us through it all and give us strength.

zombie

In the first few weeks following her birth, Maya’s feeding time at night was every two hours and a half. I didn’t have any complaints because I was on leave. And also perhaps I was just too excited to be a mom that I didn’t feel sleepy even during the day! Sometimes I napped but most of the time I didn’t nap at all! I was pushing my body to its limit, I guess.

When she was 3 months, she started waking up for milk every three hours. And by the time I had to go back to work, Maya’s feeding pattern was once at midnight, followed by a long sleep…and she would wake up again around 5.30am for her next feeding. I must say I felt pretty lucky. Perfect timing, girl!

But that was before she found out how to roll over. At first, she was still “malu-malu kucing” to roll over. It means that although she knew how to roll over, she didn’t just roll over anytime anywhere. Perhaps because it was something new to her so she had to get used to it first. At 4 months plus until now, she would actively toss and turn in her sleep. So whenever she gets herself in an uncomfortable position, she will wake us up with her cries. Now, we have no chance of not being interrupted at all in our sleep. At least once, every night, she would cry and we have to make sure that she gets into a better position. Sometimes it takes just 5 minutes. But sometimes, like last night, it took me from 3am to 6am just to put her back to sleep! If she’s sleepy and groggy, fine - she will cry and then fall back to sleep. If she is awaken by her own cries, is feeling perky and all ready to play, then be prepared to be a zombie the next day.

Like how I am today. By the time Her Royal Highness decided that she was bored and ready to sleep again, her maid-in-waiting (ie; Mummy) had to get up and get ready for work. Perfect timing! However, despite all the drama, I still left the house with a heavy heart when I saw her sleeping soundly, still kesian that she will be left with the maid, still felt like the worst mom in the world for not being around her 24/7. Nevertheless I must be thankful and feel lucky because I am not living on my own and I live with my parents and siblings. So at least, during the day she has her two cousins to play with, her grandparents, her aunty and uncles. I can’t imagine leaving her alone with just the maid. Or at a nursery. Thus, I must count my blessings. I am providing Maya with the best environment that I can provide so far. This is the best that Mummy can do sweetie!

Anyway, babies and their unpredictable sleeping patterns…it’s never ending! I hope she will get a hang of it (rolling over) soon…so that she wouldn’t be so surprised when she opens her eyes and realize that she’s already on her tummy. Although I must say that it can be very cute sometimes. It’s just that I will only appreciate the cuteness the next day – after the cooling off period. Haha. But you know I love you baby!!! :)

At 5 months

Many of Maya's pictures are in my husband's laptop...can I upload pictures from my phone? Maybe I'll try that one because I have hundreds of her pictures in my phone too. LOL. This one more to pictures of the parents than the baby lah. Hehe.

My cheeky baby!

pat-a-cake baker's man!

I’m not going to recap what has happened during my absence. Because I’m not the recap-ing kind and if I missed it, I missed it. But I bet you can guess what I’ve been up to for the last couple of months or so. YES, it’s all Maya Maya Maya.

Each day all I think about is her. If I’m in the office, I’d be thinking about what she’s doing at home and how I can’t wait to go back and play with her and hope that she wouldn’t be asleep yet. If I’m at home, well, I’d be playing with her or feeding her or putting her to sleep. If it’s a weekday I’ll be thinking about the weekend and all the activities we have lined up for her. And any time in between I’ll be thinking about the things I need to buy for her (as I’m typing this I’m already thinking about getting a new bath tub, bumbo chair etc…), her health and check ups, her clothes…EVERYTHING lah. It’s one after another, there’s never nothing to buy or nothing to think of.

I’m not complaining. I LOVE motherhood. But I’m just indicating that it’s very time and mind consuming. Of course let’s not even venture on the topic of finances. So the last thing that I feel like doing when I have some free time at hand is blogging.

Maya is five months and 3 weeks. She’s going to be half a year next week!! I’m so excited. No, I’m not going to throw her a half-year birthday party (I heard that it’s the trend now?). I’m just going to throw myself all over her until she gets rimas and scream. Hehe.

Ok so here’s the part where I gush about my daughter. Sorry, it’s just a mom’s thing. All of my mummy friends are crazy-obsessed-to-the-point-of-insanity with their kids. Regardless of whether it’s their first, second or third! The fascination never ends. So since Maya is my first, I am more than allowed to blog about her and only her.

I love watching her developments. From one (not so) tiny little helpless baby to this little person who knows what she wants. If she’s holding something that she likes and you try to take it away from her, she’ll hold it tight with both hands and resist your attempt. And if you win, you lose anyway because she’ll cryyyy. The problem is, the things that she wants are all NON-TOYS - her shoes, my handphone, the remote…things like that. So there has been a lot of mengada-ngada crying going on lately. A ‘mengada-ngada’ cry is the type where there are no tears, just an overly exaggerated facial expression. Another thing is that she knows which one is her Milky Milky so if she sees the bottle and she’s hungry, then you better put it in her mouth quickly or else, the drama begins. When Maya was smaller (1 to 4 months), she was definitely an easy baby to take care of. She’s the type who wouldn’t cry for no reason (some babies kan merengek and meragam). It was so easy to feed her, bathe her, put her to sleep. Tak payah dodoi pun she can just sleep on the bed on her own. Actually, she still IS a good baby,it’s still easy to feed, bathe her and put her to sleep but it’s just that she’s a whole lot smarter now so you can’t really mess up with her. Hehe.

Play time is becoming more and more of a two-way communication…She knows how to tease you…like if you pretend that you are ticklish when she touches your nose, she’d do it again and again and laugh. Her favourite cartoon is the all time classic Sesame Street. What else? Her baju raya has filled up half of her wardrobe. I keep telling myself not to buy anymore clothes for her but who am I kidding? Everytime I go out, more often than not, I’d get her something. I HAVE to buy her something, no matter how small.

So that’s basically what my life is all about right now. If you’re wondering how it feels like to be married and have a kid, well, isn’t reading this post enough to tell you or at least indicate to you how your life would change once you have a kid? Being married is one thing. Having a baby is another thing all together. It’s not the same. So if you think that you can handle being married, don’t assume that you can handle being a mom as well. Two. Separate. Things. Let’s just say, after almost 6 months, I am also still adjusting. There will be occasions of frustration, anger, disappointment…and of course, there will also be those rainbow-coloured, lollipop-filled days.

But one thing you’ll never feel, and this I can assure you, is regret.

echo

*blows dust* *cough*

Hello! Anybody home?! I've left this place for almost 2 months! Now that's a long hiatus. :) Sorry! Now that I've got my 'groove' back, I'll start talking to myself again ok?

I'm not sure why I stopped but I know that 'busy' is not even an excuse because I haven't been THAT busy. Busy jaga baby is different ok, that one is a responsibility. So what's new? Ok let's see...My maternity leave ended and so I've been back in the office for a month already. It feels good to be back even though I MISS Maya terribly. Especially the first few days. I still do miss her during the day but there's nothing I can do about it. One's gotta work to pay the bills!

Maya is now 4 months plus. She's as chirpy, active and cheeky as ever. I would like to record Maya's milestone here, and that is...she rolled over for the first time without any assistance on 5 June 2011!!! *throws confetti* Haha. Over. She'd been rolling over with a little push from us before this...but now she can roll roll roll and roll whenever she likes. And that's all she ever does. She just wouldn't lie on her back anymore, unless there's an interesting toy that she's holding or something. Maya loves story-telling time. She can remain still and focused when I'm telling her a story with a story book opened in front of her. Please, jangan tak tau Mummy is a talented story teller. Hence the interest. :p

Everything else in life is fun and merry. Alhamdulilah for all the good things bestowed upon us. I am also now on Twitter so perhaps that's also one of the reasons why I don't feel like blogging that much. Pictures oh so many pictures...maybe I'll share them with you when time and energy permits. :) See you soon.

she's 2 months ++ now

How time flies...

farewell, confinement

…you’ve been kind to me. Yes I’m officially done. Thoughts on confinement? Well, my confinement period was a pleasant one. I did not ‘suffer’ in any way at all. Of course the first couple of weeks were difficult because I was still learning everything I need to know about a newborn. Yeah, I didn’t automatically become a pro or a supermom the minute the baby was delivered – (and I still am not one but would like to believe that I can be if I put my mind to it ;p) lots of things to learn on top of everything else. ‘Everything else’ means not being able to eat almost everything, dealing with post-csect pain, kena pakai socks, bengkung, and gasp! Not being able to step out of the house! But it was all very much bearable lah. Plus my mom is a great cook so even with the little option that I had, she made super yummy meals for me to a point where I actually looked forward to meal times. See, how to lose weight? Even my husband enjoyed my meals so NO COMPLAINTS at all in the food department.

Furthermore, I don’t really mind not being able to go out because seriously, up ‘til today, I don’t have the mood to go out! Except to shop for groceries lah – that one is a must and rimas if I don’t get to go to the shops to get what the baby needs. Otherwise, please, I can happily spend time at home with my baby. Partly because my hair’s a total mess right now I need to go to the salon this very second. My already-long hair has grown longer (duhhh) over the month and now my hair is like…too long and lemah semacam. And partly too, because I don’t like leaving Maya at home. I know I have my mom and the maid but I still feel like doing everything myself. I am less possessive now but I still miss her soooo much when I leave the house. I’d be calling whoever’s at home every hour just to check on her. I guess it’s normal for ALL moms to feel that way. Now I know how a mother’s every thought is consumed with thoughts of her child. Now I know why the minute somebody becomes a mom her profile picture changes, her tweets and FB statuses are all about her child and all she ever blogs about is about the baby – like what I’ve been doing lately. I never thought I’d be one of ‘those moms’ but I am proudly one now. I’m like THIS close to setting up a Facebook account for my baby. But I guess that can wait. Hehe.

So anyway, there’s nothing terrible about being in my sort of confinement at all. In fact my mom was really lenient with me towards the end. After 30 days, she was like “you can go to the shops already lah dah 30 days”…but I was the one who told her “I want to pantang 44 days lah!” Konon macam im so diligent in observing the pantang padahal like I said earlier, no mood to go out yet! (But now mood slowly sudah mari..hehe pity Maya, mummy is already thinking about going to the cinema with daddy, I mean, I need to take care of THAT relationship too right? Hehe. Maya understands. After all ,Maya wants adik right? LOL)

I would forever cherish and treasure the experience. My first experience, my first taste of confinement. I guess my two cents would be… Enjoy your confinement to the fullest. Don’t look at what you cannot do or cannot eat, think about what brought you to confinement in the first place. The baby. Take the pilis, param, tungku, bengkung and everything as part of your process of becoming a mummy…and remember how many people out there who are willing to be in your place just to be blessed with a child. So just close your eyes and clip your nose and down that bottle of pati ikan haruan. Hehe.

So long and farewell confinement. See you again, insya Allah in a couple of years’ time? Amin. Hehe.

weight me up before you go go

Ok, I admit. I have never been THIS annoying my whole life. Ever since I gave birth to my baby, besides the excitement, eyebags and the whole lot of it, all I could think, talk, tweet about is my weight. And it’s so annoying that I annoy myself just by writing this post. Why do I even bother writing about it? I should be running up and down the slope in front of my house than sitting here accumulating fat!

See. That’s just how annoying I’ve become. I cannot say or do anything without associating it with my (kononnya) weight issues. I used to hate, no ,make that despise people who whine and talk about nothing but calories, exercise, diet yada yada. For me, they are sucking the fun out of their own lives. I’ve never once in my 26 years (Alhamdulilah) of living bothered about how much I weigh. But now look who’s talking.

It’s depressing how silly and childish I am right now. You know how people always say it took 9 months to put on, it’s not going to take 9 days to disappear. Hello, 9 months tu nikmat kot. And I know for a fact that it has only been 38 days! But but but but….ok I’m being childish.

Then again, I don’t regret eating that much during pregnancy. Because it contributed to the growth of my baby (somehow?) and I get my little Maya as a gift. If I could I would do it all over again and eat even more. Hehe. So what do I do with this excess baggage? Any takers?

PS: Oh my, I wrote all the above BEFORE the tragedy that struck Japan occurred. And now I hate myself even more for whining about this very very petty issue. The tragedy and its horrifying images memang truly menginsafkan. I could have just deleted the earlier paragraphs but I just need to show you how forgetful, ungrateful and silly we can be sometimes. For the people of Japan, the LAST thing they care about, or make that, they don’t even freaking care about weight right now. People have lost their lives out there and here I am, talking about pancakes..I mean weight. Sheesh.

So with that, I would like to apologize for even contemplating about complaining about my weight. I will embrace all that God has given me and count my blessings instead of calories. I mean, I think it’s definitely fine to want to be healthy and fit but to whine about non-existent weight issues is just a blatant act of ungratefulness..(ye ke non-existent?hehe) and it pushes people away because nobody wants to be friends with a shallow person. And most importantly, I must remember that I don’t need to live my life to be dictated by what you think is beautiful.

Ok I just ordered nasi kandar pelita from my husband. Really, I’m all done with being too concerned about post-pregnancy body issues. I’ll try to keep fit but what will be, will be yer. Positive-thinking mode starts now!

PSS: My heart and thoughts go out to the people of Japan… :(

special mention

I don’t usually gush about my love life online because I don’t quite believe in ODA (online display of affection). But once in a while, I do break away from the norm and turn into a 15 year-old again. Especially when there’s something especially special that I just HAVE to share.

Now that all has been said and done about Maya’s birth, I think I would like to take up a little space and dedicate this little entry to my husband – who is, of course, worth more than a million blog entries put together. I am writing this – to let him know how much I appreciate what he has done for me and to always remind myself that I have this incredible person in my life so that I will never be ungrateful.

He was right there in the labour room with me for the whole 16++ hours. I had to force him to go out of the room to meet and update our family members waiting outside. I’m sorry if I squeezed your hand too hard during the strong contractions. He was there when I vomited on the bed and I had vomit all over my face. He wiped it all off and cleaned me up. But I think what touched me the most is the hours after I had the operation. It was so hard for me to even walk to the bathroom let alone do my ‘business’. So he was always in the bathroom with me to accompany me and to help change whatever had to be changed. And oh yes for the first few hours your lochia (Google it up) flow would be very heavy – I stained my bed so many times. I’ve read somewhere that bleeding immediately after c-sect is heavier than normal birth. I had to change so many times as within a couple of hours the sanitary pad was already soaking wet. I know he’s afraid of blood but he did it anyway. It’s not so hard for normal deliveries because you won’t have that much trouble standing up – sitting down – walking. Maybe a little discomfort here and there but I don’t think it’s anything like a c-sect! That’s why I needed so much assistance from him. If I must say so myself, it was definitely gross and disgusting but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, right?

I know, as a husband, all that I’ve mentioned above is part of his responsibility and something that of course he HAD to do. It would be odd if he DIDN’T do what he did. But just because it is something that ‘goes without saying’, it doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t thank him or appreciate his efforts. It doesn’t mean that I should take him for granted.

So, to my husband, you’ve seen me at my best and you’ve seen me at my worst…and you’re definitely going to see so much more of me (good and bad) in the years to come. You’ve shown me an example of the great things that you would do for me. Things that appear simple but nevertheless have touched me so much that I can’t help but wonder if words would ever be enough to express how I feel about you after the birth of our daughter. I feel closer to you and more in love with you than I’ve ever been. “What are words if you really don’t mean them when you say them” so I’m not going to say much or write much, I just want to say thank you. For taking care of me so well.

Love you!