ramadhan al-mubarak!

Aren’t we all lucky? Insya Allah tomorrow we will welcome the month of Ramadhan. This year’s Ramadhan is especially meaningful for me as I will be celebrating it for the first time as a wife, a daughter in-law and a mom-to-be. As a wife, I don’t think I’ll face any problem…as he’s not fussy when it comes to food. I just need to make sure he buys a new baju melayu! He could still wear his white baju melayu kahwin but me? Out of the question. On a sad note, I don’t have any baju raya this year, I’ll need to find one off the rack. The ones I made with the designer months ago, well, it was months ago…if you get what I mean.

As a daughter in-law, we’ll be celebrating the first few days of Ramadhan at my in-laws’ place. That’s his wish so as an obedient wife I just agreed. Ok, ikhlas ke? Hehe. Don’t get me wrong. It’s just that I’m a little sad that I’ll be away from MY family on the first day of Ramadhan. You know how super attached I am with my family. So truthfully, it is going to be a little emotional for me. Plus I have to be at my best behaviour, which is difficult for me to do during the fasting month as I am as childish as it gets when it comes to breaking fast. I can’t exactly cedok the rice and put all the lauk siap-siap, 15 minutes before buka puasa so that right after I say ‘amin’ to the doa makan I can attack my plate while others waste time passing around the dishes…it’s all about proper planning. And I can’t sit at the table and stare at the food…no, I will have to act nonchalant about breaking fast, like it’s not a big deal for me, like I’m one strong person, like I can just have a piece of kurma and pray first then eat later. Huwaaa. Because I am always ready at the table before buka puasa, once I accidentally drank half a glass of water. I don’t want that to happen. So I will miss that ‘thrill’…at least for the first few days of Ramadhan.

But I am a rationale, considerate and understanding person, EHEM, oh not forgetting, I’m also an adult. Last year he was at perantauan ie Kedah so it wasn’t a very nice Ramadhan for him. This year, I should make him happy and I should make up for what he had to go through last year. I’ll save my drama for some other time. Time raya ke? Oh my, talking about raya, we haven’t finalized how this year’s Raya’s going to be like! I need a strategy and a strong proposal paper!

And last but not least, as a mummy-to-be, I reallyyyyyyy hope that I’ll get to fast as per normal this year. So that I won’t have to ganti puasa at all! Please give me strength God I really want to do this. I was skeptical at first, but then I’ve heard lots of encouraging stories from my colleagues and I’m determined to try my best to fast. But if I can’t, I won’t force myself. I’ve made a promise to my husband not to over-exert myself because he’s really worried about the baby not getting enough food, nutrients and all. Plus I’m still not a big fan of dinner time, so can I manage to eat well during buka? I hope so. If we really want to do it, I think God will pave an easy road for us. Insya Allah. So let’s give it a try. I’ll let you know if I manage to do it or not.

Have a wonderful Ramadhan!