one down,two to go

Trimesters, my dear, trimesters. I have actually crossed my first trimester mark this week. This calls for a pat on the back. :) Nahhh, to be truly honest and relatively speaking (based on other stories that I’ve heard and witnessed), I had a smooth first trimester. Yes of course I was and still am nauseous at random hours of the day and after 7 is still the hardest time of the day for me but otherwise, I would say that the hormones have been fairly kind to me, health-wise. But I’m breaking out like crazy now. And I’m emotional as hell. These days, it is so damn easy to trigger a tear-fest. During our latest check up, we saw that the ‘baby’ who once looked just like a jelly bean, now looks like a baby! We saw the head and the body…of course we couldn’t see details yet like fingers and toes and everything but it’s amazing how the baby have grown so much since the last time we saw him/her. Somehow for me, that check up was more overwhelming than the first time I saw the baby in my womb. I was tearing up the whole day as I carried the picture with me in my bag. Sebak and terharu noks. Haha.

I told my doctor “I don’t think I have morning sickness but I still feel sick in the evening…” with an exaggerated expression on my face, hoping for a little sympathy, care and advice but she said “But makan tak ada problem kan? I see that you’ve put on 2 kg since the last check up”. And that just shut me up. That was the end of the conversation on that matter. Hmph! No sympathy at all. Just because I’m fatter now does that mean that people take me less seriously? Like, oh what has she got to complaint, she’s eating everything she sees and oh, is that a chin or two there? Did I just reveal to you that I gained 2 kgs since the last check up? In a span of four weeks ok, no less. Amazing feat. My friend commented that I’ve never ranted or talked so much about my weight until the day I became pregnant - which is worrying because I’m not supposed to care about my weight when I’m pregnant. Yes, I have to agree that I have never cared so much about my weight all my life. In fact, I’ve always looked at pregnant women with envy and told them that I can’t wait to get pregnant so that I can eat everything I want, as much as I want to, without feeling guilty. And now my time has come and I keep writing about it. Haha. Please don’t get me wrong. I am just poking fun at myself because my husband and I think it’s funny how much I’ve put on weight. I am not going to go on a diet NOW. Are you crazy! I’m having a good laugh at it and although my husband teases me endlessly about how my cheeks are now his favourite pillows, I’m a good sport. I know it’s all for the betterment of my pregnancy. Yeah, right. Hahah, see I’m cracking up just by writing about these things. I find it funny. If you don’t find it funny, well, there’s always lots of handbag-obsessed blogs you can read out there. I’m sure that’s a whole lot more amusing, I mean what bag should I buy this month?! Is the Kolvao 324 in lamb skin better than VBG Monteire in caviar? (Ok I just made those things up!)

Sorry, where was I? Weight. The other thing that I find really funny is when people kind-heartedly, in good faith and without malice (or so I think!) make comments such as “You’re showing already!” “Boleh nampak dah perut…” Makcik, perut saya dah nampak dekat 10 tahun dah. And let me tell you, I receive too many of those comments that sometimes I feel like hiding behind a large table or something. I don’t know whether to laugh or to just agree with whatever they’re saying. If it’s a true baby bump then I am more than proud to flaunt it to the world. But I’ve got a feeling that it’s not a baby bump just yet. It’s just a….bump. You see I’ve never had a flat surfboard tummy all my life. I’ve always had a little extra there. So when I got pregnant and have an increase in my appetite, the rest will follow suit. Therefore, I think it’s a little bit of a baby bump and a lot of other urmm, extras.

What’s not helping is that my parents have been DOTING on me like anything. All I need to do is just mention that I feel like eating a particular food and the next day, it is on the table. Most of the time, my mom cooks all the dishes for me and my dad buys things from outside, if what I want is from a particular stall or restaurant. My husband doesn’t even get the opportunity to look for the things that I want to eat because more often than not, my mom gets it done faster than you can say “Okay, let me get the car keys”. All the pampering is really getting to my head and I’ve been abusing the privilege. There’s a difference between craving or mengidam and ‘what-I-feel-like-eating’. In fact, I don’t think I have had a ‘craving’ so far. Most of the time, it’s all just ‘I feel like eating this and that’. After all, we’ve always felt like eating a particular food even when we’re not pregnant right? I think to crave for something or to mengidam require a lot more than just ‘feeling’ like eating something. It must be an urge so strong and powerful that if we don’t get it we’d cry or dream about it for days. And it’s usually something that we won’t normally eat or we don’t normally get the opportunity to eat, perhaps due to the complexity in making the dish or something. So when my family asked me the other day, “ni betul-betul mengidam ke mengada-ngada”. I answered, mengada-ngada. Because I know it’s nothing more than that. Opportunist. :)

On a different note, I am going to Singapore this weekend! It was such a last minute decision but we’ve made the bookings and everything is set. It’s a family road trip and no I’m not going to the Universal Studios just yet. It’s a bummer that we missed the great Singapore sale. I’m just going to stuff my face with lots of macarons then.