a working mom's dilemma

Are you a working mom? Then you must be able to relate to the fear, anxiety, worries listed below. (And these are only a fraction of it…)

1. Have you ever felt inadequate?
2. Have you ever feared that your child might choose the caretaker over you?
3. Have you ever feared that your child will love you less?
4. Have you ever wondered whether the little time that you get to spend with your child (after office) is enough?
5. Have you ever thought that with such little time at hand on weekdays, would you be able to mold your child to become the person that you want your child to be?
6. Have you ever questioned your decision to continue working?
7. Have you ever been afraid of not witnessing her first step, hearing her first word?
8. Have you ever worried that your child will forget your face, your voice, your smell?
9. Have you ever felt pity towards your child for not having his/her mom around all the time as compared to some other children?
10. Have you ever felt guilty?
11. Have you ever cursed stay-at-home moms who complain about having to take care of their children?
12. Have you ever thought of ways to let your child know that he or she is loved even without your presence?
13. Have you ever justified to yourself that you are doing it (working) for the betterment of the family?
14. Have you ever missed your child so much at work you want to cry?

15. Ultimately, have you ever felt like you have not been a good mother?

Essentially, every mother wants to give her best to her children.

What if my best is not good enough because of this thing that I have called ‘career’? Ideally, one should look at it as a blessing – that it is great that one is employed, it is great that one is contributing to the household income etc. But unless one is an angel or a saint, one will not look at it that way most of the time. Most of the time, we feel like apologizing to our children. Or at least I do.

Sorry mummy’s got to go to work today. Sorry mummy’s coming home late. Sorry mummy’s got to do office work at home.

If we don’t apologize, what do we say?

Yeay, mummy’s going to work today so that means more money to buy toys for you! Yeay, mummy will be late so you can sleep with the Bibik. Yeay, mummy needs to do office work in the room so you go and play on your own?

It’s not in our nature to say things like that because we don’t feel that way. We don’t look at things that way. Mothers are very emotional people, in case you haven’t heard.

We’re always in a huge dilemma and we will continue being in this dilemma…until God knows when. The emotional and spiritual turmoil that one goes through is an endless cycle.

May Allah know every working mother’s good intentions and give His blessings. And may He guide us through it all and give us strength.