God, give me strength. I can go through this.
It’s tormenting my mind and disturbing my sleep.
I have tried and I am still trying, but to be deprived of it completely, is not something I can even attempt.
I know it’s impossible and forever I’ll have to live with this. This unwanted visitor in my life.
People can be insensitive and I’m not denying the fact that I am what they say I am.
Of course it’s true. Of course reality bites but denial hurts even more. I don’t want the people I love to pretend that it’s okay, to pretend that I am still who I used to be, to pretend that it’s not a big deal. It is. No matter what you say.
I am worried but I don’t know how to help myself. I am torn in between. I need it in order to stay positive, energetic and productive at work. Without it, I know I’ll have that throbbing pain in my head (that’s how I always describe it because that’s how it really feels, it really throbs to the point that I have to put both hands to my head and squeeze it tight!), but God, it’s killing me!
I never thought I’d have to face this because I was always so indifferent about it but now, it’s something I think about when I wake up in the morning, get dressed to work, drive, work on a task, look at the faces of others, sit at home, before I sleep and even when I dream at night. It’s a shadow haunting me, watching every step I make, every bite I take.
I don’t know if I have the strength to do this but God please help me on this one, I need it now more than ever.
I can do this. I will and I can.
It’s tormenting my mind and disturbing my sleep.
I have tried and I am still trying, but to be deprived of it completely, is not something I can even attempt.
I know it’s impossible and forever I’ll have to live with this. This unwanted visitor in my life.
People can be insensitive and I’m not denying the fact that I am what they say I am.
Of course it’s true. Of course reality bites but denial hurts even more. I don’t want the people I love to pretend that it’s okay, to pretend that I am still who I used to be, to pretend that it’s not a big deal. It is. No matter what you say.
I am worried but I don’t know how to help myself. I am torn in between. I need it in order to stay positive, energetic and productive at work. Without it, I know I’ll have that throbbing pain in my head (that’s how I always describe it because that’s how it really feels, it really throbs to the point that I have to put both hands to my head and squeeze it tight!), but God, it’s killing me!
I never thought I’d have to face this because I was always so indifferent about it but now, it’s something I think about when I wake up in the morning, get dressed to work, drive, work on a task, look at the faces of others, sit at home, before I sleep and even when I dream at night. It’s a shadow haunting me, watching every step I make, every bite I take.
I don’t know if I have the strength to do this but God please help me on this one, I need it now more than ever.
I can do this. I will and I can.
2 comments:
hmm. apakah. macam bole guess tapi taknak speculate.
tadi saya menalifon anda tiada di tempat.
tapi takpe :)
tc
hahaha, what's your guess? opps, not here dong! :))
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