This is so random. It’s just my two cents worth of opinion anyway but I just feel like sharing. :)Why do you care so much about what people say or think about you? Why do you care so much if people bitch about you? For as long as I could remember, I have always had people who ‘hated’ me. It started in primary school and then of course, high school, and the rest as they say, is history. So I might have a little locus standi to be talking about what do you do when people talk bad about you. I have received hate mails, hate phone calls, heck I’ve even been called ‘bitch’ in front of everybody more than 10 times in school (by the same person when I was just in Form 1) for reasons that I’m still not sure of until today. If you asked me, I would say I don’t know what I did wrong, I didn’t even know half of them, I’m innocent.
But as naïve as I might have been, even at that age, I’ve realized one thing. The one thing that helped form the person that I am today. This is what I’ve realized. In the real world, people are going to talk bad about you, criticize you or even hate you just because. Just because. I’ve stopped trying to find the reasons behind the stories, gossips, rumours, lies and hatred a long time ago because there is no point. You will never find the reason and most importantly, you don’t need to know the reason. More often than not, the reason will not make sense anyway so why bother? The fact is this - you’re never going to be able to please everybody or justify your principles to everybody. You will never get the chance to do that. You don’t get to have ‘press conferences’ every day to explain things to people. So let it be. It will do you good.
That’s why sometimes I don’t understand why do people whine so much. So what if so and so talks bad about you, mock you or look at you head to toe like as if you’ve worn a potato sack as a skirt. You don’t owe them anything and neither do they. They don’t owe you anything. And with the humble little knowledge that I have of my religion, I believe that that person owe it to the Almighty. If they don’t want to apologize to you or try to make amends or try to be friends, what is there to lose? Do you have to beg for food? Do you have to sleep on cold, hard tiles? Do you have to now really, use a potato sack as a dress? If no, then how did you manage to live comfortably? Is it because of them? No? Then what’s the problem.
Let people say what they want to say and do not give even a minute or a millisecond of your time to ponder on that. Every person you meet IS fighting a harder battle so be kind. You don’t know why they have to say the things they say or do the things they do. And again, you don’t need to know. I think that we just have to take care of the people we love and the people who love us in return. Take care of our family, our relatives, our friends, our colleagues. Some people are just insignificant and they should remain insignificant.
And let’s not try to fool anyone. We have also done what we’re accusing others of doing. We have sat around in a circle and talked bad about somebody, we have enjoyed hearing and sharing a gossip or two, we have disliked somebody because of the way he or she talks or dress, we have been through it all and we have done it all. We are all the same. So why should we pretend like we’re always the victim? It’s a vicious, unhealthy cycle but that’s what we’re facing today. Live with it. The world could do with a little less about you. The world could do with a little less whining.
That’s how I survived and that’s how I will keep on surviving. I never did find out why those girls called me a bitch relentlessly, I never did find out who created stories about my heartless dictatorial regime in LLB, I never did find out how people came up with their many theories. Because I stopped asking. And because I don’t want to know. People can come up to me to report, but that’s just it. I don’t dwell on it. It’s not worth my time or your time. Even if I were to ask the source of the story on why did you say so and so, I bet the source wouldn’t even have an answer. Just like how I don’t always have an answer too. Again, just because.
A friend’s FB status asked a perfect question. “Why do people bitch about people bitching about other people when they themselves bitch about other people?” Well said.
But as naïve as I might have been, even at that age, I’ve realized one thing. The one thing that helped form the person that I am today. This is what I’ve realized. In the real world, people are going to talk bad about you, criticize you or even hate you just because. Just because. I’ve stopped trying to find the reasons behind the stories, gossips, rumours, lies and hatred a long time ago because there is no point. You will never find the reason and most importantly, you don’t need to know the reason. More often than not, the reason will not make sense anyway so why bother? The fact is this - you’re never going to be able to please everybody or justify your principles to everybody. You will never get the chance to do that. You don’t get to have ‘press conferences’ every day to explain things to people. So let it be. It will do you good.
That’s why sometimes I don’t understand why do people whine so much. So what if so and so talks bad about you, mock you or look at you head to toe like as if you’ve worn a potato sack as a skirt. You don’t owe them anything and neither do they. They don’t owe you anything. And with the humble little knowledge that I have of my religion, I believe that that person owe it to the Almighty. If they don’t want to apologize to you or try to make amends or try to be friends, what is there to lose? Do you have to beg for food? Do you have to sleep on cold, hard tiles? Do you have to now really, use a potato sack as a dress? If no, then how did you manage to live comfortably? Is it because of them? No? Then what’s the problem.
Let people say what they want to say and do not give even a minute or a millisecond of your time to ponder on that. Every person you meet IS fighting a harder battle so be kind. You don’t know why they have to say the things they say or do the things they do. And again, you don’t need to know. I think that we just have to take care of the people we love and the people who love us in return. Take care of our family, our relatives, our friends, our colleagues. Some people are just insignificant and they should remain insignificant.
And let’s not try to fool anyone. We have also done what we’re accusing others of doing. We have sat around in a circle and talked bad about somebody, we have enjoyed hearing and sharing a gossip or two, we have disliked somebody because of the way he or she talks or dress, we have been through it all and we have done it all. We are all the same. So why should we pretend like we’re always the victim? It’s a vicious, unhealthy cycle but that’s what we’re facing today. Live with it. The world could do with a little less about you. The world could do with a little less whining.
That’s how I survived and that’s how I will keep on surviving. I never did find out why those girls called me a bitch relentlessly, I never did find out who created stories about my heartless dictatorial regime in LLB, I never did find out how people came up with their many theories. Because I stopped asking. And because I don’t want to know. People can come up to me to report, but that’s just it. I don’t dwell on it. It’s not worth my time or your time. Even if I were to ask the source of the story on why did you say so and so, I bet the source wouldn’t even have an answer. Just like how I don’t always have an answer too. Again, just because.
A friend’s FB status asked a perfect question. “Why do people bitch about people bitching about other people when they themselves bitch about other people?” Well said.
4 comments:
because it's easier to pretend they're not guilty of the same offence?
very few of us can stand up to such scrutiny of ourselves because it requires honesty and courage to see ourselves as capable of the same things we accuse of other people.
having said that, you're right. absolutely. some ppl hate us just because. might as well as be happy anyway.
been reading your blog through zaza's links. don't think you know me personally though. :)
cheers and have a nice day!
i agree with you petrina! :)
As much as it hurts knowing people talk behind your back, and in full bad intent use your name out of no where as the source of gossip/libelous stories/statements, yes true, its better to ignore ~~ sometimes~~ ;P Cause, if it's too serious and damagingly to ourselves, it'd feel much better after confronting/ clarifying things with so and so, just to get a peace of mind. Or maybe rant about it in your blog. Hehe. Just my 2 cents.
ohhh i forgot to mention that as an exception. yes, if it's too serious, then of course necessary actions must be taken ie; report to the police terus! hehe. i guess i'm referring to the usual-everyday thing that we do/go through. :)
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