I knew you were my love story, waiting to be unfolded.
Ok, maybe that’s not entirely true. I had other thoughts when I first met you. Hehe. Today, I’ll share with my readers our story. A story of who I was before I met him, the first time we met and who I’ve become since he entered my life. I’ve always considered myself as a different person now, than before. Maybe others can’t tell the difference but I know I’m different. Whoever knew me pre-20 years old, would be surprised to know me now. I am not who I used to be. I am better. For the most part, I have wisdom and maturity to be thankful for. But I cannot deny how our relationship helped shape me into this person that I’m so comfortable with right now too. I guess the saying is true; you have to meet all the wrong ones first, before you meet the right one for you. Back then, I didn’t know much. I was more naive than anybody my age. I was oblivious. How easily I let them get away with toying with my feelings. People would take advantage if you’re weak. And I was weak. Maybe I didn’t do much when things happened because I was too young to understand how relationships work. And everyone else knew how to play the game except me. I was the perfect victim. But of course, anybody can spin a story to suit his or her liking. I was clueless on a lot of things, I didn’t have a sense of style, I didn’t know how to apply make-up, I didn’t know how to retaliate, how to stand up for myself, how to fight back. All I knew was how to whimper and hide. And accept defeat. I was clingy and scared, always thirsty for acceptance and made do with whatever came my way. Until I met him.
The first vivid memory that I have of him is our Kesatria days, when we were in Part 2 BLS. Oh yeah he was right there all along when we were in Part 1 but because we didn’t have any common lecture or tutorial classes, our paths did not cross, at all. Amazing but true. It was a hot day and we had Kesatria practice as usual. Those who participated in the kawad wakil faculty were practicing and those who weren’t involved had to squat/sit by the side. I noticed him because he was the only guy in the group who did not participate in the kawad. It was so funny and everyone was teasing him for being one of the girls. I remember how he looked SO uncomfortable and rasanya kalau boleh gali lubang, he would’ve wanted to put his head in the hole! Hehe. He had this super clean look at that time, and I thought he was a bit ‘jambu’, plus the fact that he didn’t participate in the march made him look a little too, sissy for me. Not long after that day, my very good friend, Din, asked me about him and whether I knew this guy from our batch named Zaki. We were chatting online at that time and when I said I have no idea who Zaki was, he sent me a picture. Din mentioned how he’s orang utara too, just like me. Was that what you said exactly Din? I can’t really remember except the fact that you mentioned his name and gave me his picture for no reason at all! I took no interest because the picture wasn’t exactly his best shot. Hehe.
But then, THAT day came. In Part 2, we were in the same lecture and tutorial groups. One of it was, we had Mr.Choy’s English class together. I was already seated right in front of the class (as usual, skema). He was late (as usual, too) and when he walked into the class, I turned around and saw him. He was wearing a purple shirt. And right there and then, I think at that moment he stole my heart. I have no idea why the attraction was just so so so strong at that time. It was as though I’ve been imprinted. (Twilight language). My cheeks felt hot and my friend commented that I was blushing. It was so embarrassing and that was the first time, I really SAW him. In a different light. From that day onwards, I was like a love-struck kid. I even volunteered to be the class rep for Constitutional Law II just so that I’d have a reason to talk to him in class. Kelakar tak! And every time masuk kelas, sure control tak ingat dunia. You can guess that it was still at the very beginning of the semester when it happened. So a few weeks passed by with me acting all silly like that. After a while, thanks to my friends, some people found out about the “crush” and so conveniently mentioned it to him. Much to my horror (and delight?)! And well well well, here’s his side of the story upon being told that a particular girl named ‘yours truly’ had a crush on him (oh so high school please!). He CLAIMED that he was so pleasantly surprised because he too, had a crush on me. In fact, on several occasions, he asked his friends about me and my background. Once, they even drove by my house! Creepy. He said that he first noticed me in Part 1, when we all had to sit for a common paper, Law of Contract’s mid term test. But he was apparently too shy to approach me thinking that I would never entertain a guy like him *insert filem Antara Dua Darjat* He said that even after his friend told him of that good news *ehem*, he was still unsure as when we met in class, I acted like he didn’t even exist and was still as aloof as ever. He even double checked with his friends that there’s only one girl by the name of ‘yours truly’. So anyway, despite all the malu-malu kucing, he asked for my number from my friend and gathered the courage to...bukan call me, but MISS-CALLED me. Boleh tak? But I knew it was him because I pun dah save his number. (In fact, once, me and Bats called him up from Sunway Pyramid’s phone booth and did a prank call! I asked Bats to ask him whether dia penjual karipap tak. Bodoh takkk.) HAHAHA. However I pretended that I didn’t know who he was and text messaged him asking “Who’s this?” Oh myyyy, so childish and funny kan. I remember his reply was.. “I’m not sure la Nadira, I think I had a concussion”. Hehe. That was our first ever contact. And finally a few days later, he gave me a proper phone call. I remember our first phone call. I was at my tailor’s in Subang and he was taking a break from some ceramah in UiTM. It was short but it gave me so much happiness and thrill. After that, his phone calls were regular. But we still acted like strangers in class! Until one day he asked me out on our first date ever!
Our first date wasn’t very conventional either. On that day, I was expecting my new car (re:the red Jazz) and when the car arrived, I went to Shah Alam to pick him up! On our first date! So gentleman kan? I’ve always said that I’m the boy in the relationship and he’s the girl. Off we went to our first ever destination together – Sunway Pyramid. We didn’t do anything in particular, we just walked about and chatted like long lost best friends. We didn’t even eat. We stopped for some pretzels (I ordered mineral water sahaja, thank you) and that was it. Both of us were wearing black, we must have looked like the perfect couple. So basically, that outing broke the ice and we had several more dates after that on weekends. Our first movie together was Vanity Fair. Our favourite hang-out spot pre-couple was Burger King.
I remember how I felt the first few weeks. He made me happy, he made me laugh and most importantly, I was able to BE MYSELF around him. Of course I had my ‘shy’ moments and I wasn’t always chatty or talkative but I was opening up to him. And then came the ‘proposal’ one night. We had a dinner date, and afterwards, we parked the car by the road side and watched fireworks together. That’s why I used to call him my Mr.Fireworks. Because at the early stages of our relationship, we encountered so many beautiful fireworks. There was a Chinese celebration going on. It was lovely! After that he dropped me off at home and came in for a while. That was when IT happened. The moment we decided to make our ‘relationship’ official. 24th February 2005. I said yes almost immediately, nampak gelojoh sungguh, but well, I was having way too much fun to worry about WH questions.
So let me fast forward and recap our years together.
2005-2006: Our first year together. Everything was sweet. We would go out whenever we could, usually for one whole day and mall-hop like crazy. Everything was possible, dia pun baik je, ikuttttt je whatever I wanted. Perhaps he was trying to please me. Hehe. But we also had miscommunication problems. Sometimes he’d assume this and that, and I’d assume this and that, because we didn’t know each other’s characteristics, quirks and style. We were eager, trying too hard to be perfect and still learning new things about each other.
2006-2007: Second year was better. Our relationship was more stable. We were inseparable. I remember he worked part time during the semester break just so that he could get me a very bling bling JLo watch. Terharu gila. I wore it everyday to class sampai dah lunyai. And I used to brave the lunch hour traffic at Mid Valley just to see him for an hour. An hour ok! Rindunyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
2007-2008: Third year was the toughest. For reasons that I don’t even know. Somehow things were pretty tense, expectations were high, misunderstandings occurred every other day. It wasn’t smooth sailing at all. Of course this ‘hot season’ didn’t happen for one whole year, I’m just highlighting the major thing that made the year different, that’s all. I think it went on for a few months. We could survive not seeing each other for days, which was crazy lah kan! Cuba sekarang! It’s not that we don’t love each other...so it still bothers me now why things happened the way it did that year. That ‘phase’. The scary itch. Thank God we made it through.
2008-2009: Fourth year. HAPPINESS! See, tiba-tiba je we were back on track. I think all we needed was just some ‘me’ time. Ye ke? But I don’t want no me time now! Haha. I love 2008. The year that I confirmed with my heart that I’m going to be with this guy forever. We had so much fun together, laughed a whole lot too. I was sure that not only do I want him but I NEED him to be next to me always and in my life forever. Lovesick year. Full stop. :)
2009-2010: Fifth year. Ok, although officially we are not yet 5 but we are approaching our fifth year ‘anniversary’ together in a couple of months. 2009 started with him being transferred to Kedah. That is by far, the biggest thing I had to deal with. Long distance has always been my nemesis. I thought I would never make it through but I did! It isn’t so bad, really. Of course 2009 is very special and sweet in its own way. It started with the ‘decision’, merisik and engagement. This is the year we decided to take the relationship to a whole new level. One step further. A brave step. Honestly, I still can’t believe I’m engaged and soon to be married. Even when I look at the pictures I sometimes see a different person smiling back at me. Is this really happening? It’s so beautiful and magical that I find it hard to believe that I’m living my dream.
2010 onwards, would be a new chapter in our lives. I will be his wife and he will be my husband. Ohmygod, just typing those words make me squirm in my seat. Haha. I AM EXCITED but I’m also a nervous wreck! Come on, this is marriage we’re talking about, don’t tell me you’re not nervous and scared and have butterflies in your tummy all day long! Ok lah if you’re the calm and composed type but I’m a Miss-Worry. The famous jitters – it’s here. All in all, Alhamdulilah, we have not faced any major crisis throughout our years together although I’m not going to pretend that everything is rosy and picture-perfect all the time, because it isn’t and everybody knows that. I need to trust that my man is loyal, because loyalty has become my main criteria. And he fits the bill. I need to be able to be myself, because I don’t ever want to pretend that I don’t know the lyrics to all of Slam’s previous hits when I actually do. And he sings along with me. I need to have a simple man by my side, because I can’t live with the pressure of keeping up with someone’s taste. And he’s simple. I need someone who loves me because I’m not cool, because my shoes don’t match my clothes, because I’m a nerd, because I have insecurities, because I’m pretty and because I’m not, because I’m a chameleon. I feel it in my heart that we are perfect for each other. I hope God has a similar idea about us. May He bless our good intentions always. Amin.
This is only the prelude. :)
Ok, maybe that’s not entirely true. I had other thoughts when I first met you. Hehe. Today, I’ll share with my readers our story. A story of who I was before I met him, the first time we met and who I’ve become since he entered my life. I’ve always considered myself as a different person now, than before. Maybe others can’t tell the difference but I know I’m different. Whoever knew me pre-20 years old, would be surprised to know me now. I am not who I used to be. I am better. For the most part, I have wisdom and maturity to be thankful for. But I cannot deny how our relationship helped shape me into this person that I’m so comfortable with right now too. I guess the saying is true; you have to meet all the wrong ones first, before you meet the right one for you. Back then, I didn’t know much. I was more naive than anybody my age. I was oblivious. How easily I let them get away with toying with my feelings. People would take advantage if you’re weak. And I was weak. Maybe I didn’t do much when things happened because I was too young to understand how relationships work. And everyone else knew how to play the game except me. I was the perfect victim. But of course, anybody can spin a story to suit his or her liking. I was clueless on a lot of things, I didn’t have a sense of style, I didn’t know how to apply make-up, I didn’t know how to retaliate, how to stand up for myself, how to fight back. All I knew was how to whimper and hide. And accept defeat. I was clingy and scared, always thirsty for acceptance and made do with whatever came my way. Until I met him.
The first vivid memory that I have of him is our Kesatria days, when we were in Part 2 BLS. Oh yeah he was right there all along when we were in Part 1 but because we didn’t have any common lecture or tutorial classes, our paths did not cross, at all. Amazing but true. It was a hot day and we had Kesatria practice as usual. Those who participated in the kawad wakil faculty were practicing and those who weren’t involved had to squat/sit by the side. I noticed him because he was the only guy in the group who did not participate in the kawad. It was so funny and everyone was teasing him for being one of the girls. I remember how he looked SO uncomfortable and rasanya kalau boleh gali lubang, he would’ve wanted to put his head in the hole! Hehe. He had this super clean look at that time, and I thought he was a bit ‘jambu’, plus the fact that he didn’t participate in the march made him look a little too, sissy for me. Not long after that day, my very good friend, Din, asked me about him and whether I knew this guy from our batch named Zaki. We were chatting online at that time and when I said I have no idea who Zaki was, he sent me a picture. Din mentioned how he’s orang utara too, just like me. Was that what you said exactly Din? I can’t really remember except the fact that you mentioned his name and gave me his picture for no reason at all! I took no interest because the picture wasn’t exactly his best shot. Hehe.
But then, THAT day came. In Part 2, we were in the same lecture and tutorial groups. One of it was, we had Mr.Choy’s English class together. I was already seated right in front of the class (as usual, skema). He was late (as usual, too) and when he walked into the class, I turned around and saw him. He was wearing a purple shirt. And right there and then, I think at that moment he stole my heart. I have no idea why the attraction was just so so so strong at that time. It was as though I’ve been imprinted. (Twilight language). My cheeks felt hot and my friend commented that I was blushing. It was so embarrassing and that was the first time, I really SAW him. In a different light. From that day onwards, I was like a love-struck kid. I even volunteered to be the class rep for Constitutional Law II just so that I’d have a reason to talk to him in class. Kelakar tak! And every time masuk kelas, sure control tak ingat dunia. You can guess that it was still at the very beginning of the semester when it happened. So a few weeks passed by with me acting all silly like that. After a while, thanks to my friends, some people found out about the “crush” and so conveniently mentioned it to him. Much to my horror (and delight?)! And well well well, here’s his side of the story upon being told that a particular girl named ‘yours truly’ had a crush on him (oh so high school please!). He CLAIMED that he was so pleasantly surprised because he too, had a crush on me. In fact, on several occasions, he asked his friends about me and my background. Once, they even drove by my house! Creepy. He said that he first noticed me in Part 1, when we all had to sit for a common paper, Law of Contract’s mid term test. But he was apparently too shy to approach me thinking that I would never entertain a guy like him *insert filem Antara Dua Darjat* He said that even after his friend told him of that good news *ehem*, he was still unsure as when we met in class, I acted like he didn’t even exist and was still as aloof as ever. He even double checked with his friends that there’s only one girl by the name of ‘yours truly’. So anyway, despite all the malu-malu kucing, he asked for my number from my friend and gathered the courage to...bukan call me, but MISS-CALLED me. Boleh tak? But I knew it was him because I pun dah save his number. (In fact, once, me and Bats called him up from Sunway Pyramid’s phone booth and did a prank call! I asked Bats to ask him whether dia penjual karipap tak. Bodoh takkk.) HAHAHA. However I pretended that I didn’t know who he was and text messaged him asking “Who’s this?” Oh myyyy, so childish and funny kan. I remember his reply was.. “I’m not sure la Nadira, I think I had a concussion”. Hehe. That was our first ever contact. And finally a few days later, he gave me a proper phone call. I remember our first phone call. I was at my tailor’s in Subang and he was taking a break from some ceramah in UiTM. It was short but it gave me so much happiness and thrill. After that, his phone calls were regular. But we still acted like strangers in class! Until one day he asked me out on our first date ever!
Our first date wasn’t very conventional either. On that day, I was expecting my new car (re:the red Jazz) and when the car arrived, I went to Shah Alam to pick him up! On our first date! So gentleman kan? I’ve always said that I’m the boy in the relationship and he’s the girl. Off we went to our first ever destination together – Sunway Pyramid. We didn’t do anything in particular, we just walked about and chatted like long lost best friends. We didn’t even eat. We stopped for some pretzels (I ordered mineral water sahaja, thank you) and that was it. Both of us were wearing black, we must have looked like the perfect couple. So basically, that outing broke the ice and we had several more dates after that on weekends. Our first movie together was Vanity Fair. Our favourite hang-out spot pre-couple was Burger King.
I remember how I felt the first few weeks. He made me happy, he made me laugh and most importantly, I was able to BE MYSELF around him. Of course I had my ‘shy’ moments and I wasn’t always chatty or talkative but I was opening up to him. And then came the ‘proposal’ one night. We had a dinner date, and afterwards, we parked the car by the road side and watched fireworks together. That’s why I used to call him my Mr.Fireworks. Because at the early stages of our relationship, we encountered so many beautiful fireworks. There was a Chinese celebration going on. It was lovely! After that he dropped me off at home and came in for a while. That was when IT happened. The moment we decided to make our ‘relationship’ official. 24th February 2005. I said yes almost immediately, nampak gelojoh sungguh, but well, I was having way too much fun to worry about WH questions.
So let me fast forward and recap our years together.
2005-2006: Our first year together. Everything was sweet. We would go out whenever we could, usually for one whole day and mall-hop like crazy. Everything was possible, dia pun baik je, ikuttttt je whatever I wanted. Perhaps he was trying to please me. Hehe. But we also had miscommunication problems. Sometimes he’d assume this and that, and I’d assume this and that, because we didn’t know each other’s characteristics, quirks and style. We were eager, trying too hard to be perfect and still learning new things about each other.
2006-2007: Second year was better. Our relationship was more stable. We were inseparable. I remember he worked part time during the semester break just so that he could get me a very bling bling JLo watch. Terharu gila. I wore it everyday to class sampai dah lunyai. And I used to brave the lunch hour traffic at Mid Valley just to see him for an hour. An hour ok! Rindunyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
2007-2008: Third year was the toughest. For reasons that I don’t even know. Somehow things were pretty tense, expectations were high, misunderstandings occurred every other day. It wasn’t smooth sailing at all. Of course this ‘hot season’ didn’t happen for one whole year, I’m just highlighting the major thing that made the year different, that’s all. I think it went on for a few months. We could survive not seeing each other for days, which was crazy lah kan! Cuba sekarang! It’s not that we don’t love each other...so it still bothers me now why things happened the way it did that year. That ‘phase’. The scary itch. Thank God we made it through.
2008-2009: Fourth year. HAPPINESS! See, tiba-tiba je we were back on track. I think all we needed was just some ‘me’ time. Ye ke? But I don’t want no me time now! Haha. I love 2008. The year that I confirmed with my heart that I’m going to be with this guy forever. We had so much fun together, laughed a whole lot too. I was sure that not only do I want him but I NEED him to be next to me always and in my life forever. Lovesick year. Full stop. :)
2009-2010: Fifth year. Ok, although officially we are not yet 5 but we are approaching our fifth year ‘anniversary’ together in a couple of months. 2009 started with him being transferred to Kedah. That is by far, the biggest thing I had to deal with. Long distance has always been my nemesis. I thought I would never make it through but I did! It isn’t so bad, really. Of course 2009 is very special and sweet in its own way. It started with the ‘decision’, merisik and engagement. This is the year we decided to take the relationship to a whole new level. One step further. A brave step. Honestly, I still can’t believe I’m engaged and soon to be married. Even when I look at the pictures I sometimes see a different person smiling back at me. Is this really happening? It’s so beautiful and magical that I find it hard to believe that I’m living my dream.
2010 onwards, would be a new chapter in our lives. I will be his wife and he will be my husband. Ohmygod, just typing those words make me squirm in my seat. Haha. I AM EXCITED but I’m also a nervous wreck! Come on, this is marriage we’re talking about, don’t tell me you’re not nervous and scared and have butterflies in your tummy all day long! Ok lah if you’re the calm and composed type but I’m a Miss-Worry. The famous jitters – it’s here. All in all, Alhamdulilah, we have not faced any major crisis throughout our years together although I’m not going to pretend that everything is rosy and picture-perfect all the time, because it isn’t and everybody knows that. I need to trust that my man is loyal, because loyalty has become my main criteria. And he fits the bill. I need to be able to be myself, because I don’t ever want to pretend that I don’t know the lyrics to all of Slam’s previous hits when I actually do. And he sings along with me. I need to have a simple man by my side, because I can’t live with the pressure of keeping up with someone’s taste. And he’s simple. I need someone who loves me because I’m not cool, because my shoes don’t match my clothes, because I’m a nerd, because I have insecurities, because I’m pretty and because I’m not, because I’m a chameleon. I feel it in my heart that we are perfect for each other. I hope God has a similar idea about us. May He bless our good intentions always. Amin.
This is only the prelude. :)
5 comments:
awwww...so schweet!!!
glad that u've made it! 2005 and still going strong!!that's a big achievement ok :)
haih, kisah karipap, karipap. hahahahahahhahahahahahahah
i so remember the karipap moment....hahahhahaha "ade jual karipap x?karipapkaripap?hahahah
a rather lovely entry. May the almighty bless you both. Amin.
p/s: i remember we had lunch at chicken rice shop and after that we decided to make the infamous karipap call.. hahaha
lovely.. am so happy for you both.. even though i was nvr a part of the whole 'match-making' team or 'karipap' scene, but i was there to witness the whole 'malu-malu kucing' scene esp in Mr. Choy's class.. congrats dear. you're sooo close to becoming Mrs. ZA. see you this saturday.
xoxo,
myrahjo
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