rama-rama

The wedding is in 12 days' time. The drama officially starts tomorrow. You might or might not hear from me until everything's over because I have just way too many butterflies in my tummy to be able to sit quietly and type in peace. Alhamdulilah, so far everything's according to the schedule. It's me that I'm concerned about. I have never felt this nervous before but then again, I've never been married. But nothing compares to this. I dare not imagine the state I will be in on that day. My days are packed with things to do in the office and my nights are packed with the preparation. I'm upset with a few things and a few statements but all in all, I've managed to suck it all in with minimal, if any, arguments with those who matter the most to me. So can I call myself a 'bridezilla'? Nahh, no I don't think so. I saw an old, battered car broke down by the side of the road and the kids were pushing the car while the father was inside. I don't know why I'm just so freaking emotional these days. I can't stand sights like that. Yesterday while picking my younger brother up from a two-day course he was attending, there were so many other parents as well waiting for their children. A taxi parked by the side of my car. The driver got out and went to fetch his daughter. The daughter attended the course as well. Again, that sight just softens my heart I feel like paying for his daughter's fees because I know the course is not cheap. I know, what made me think that he can't afford the fees right? I'm so bias. But it just made me realize that ada banyak orang less fortunate than me so setakat 'stressing' over the wrong shade of colour or whether to have kerusi kayu or covered chair or whatever is so memalukan.

Today, is probably the last day, that I have to myself. I'm going to spend this day pondering about everything. My life, my past, my present, my future. I'm going to have mental flashbacks today. I refuse to do anything else. :)